This is what it looks like when a show jumps the shark...

For those of you who don't know the term, "Jumping the shark" it's the term used to describe when a show has gone too far into the red zone. According to Wikipedia it was a man named Sean J. Connolly who came up with the phrase after the Fonz literally jumped over a shark in a three part "Happy Days" special (video here). This ridiculous act did not end the show but it did kill the show. The shark jump was a sign that things had gone too far, were out of control and the show had just plain lost it's hootspa. Over the years many shows have the one episode that is referred to as the one where they "jumped the shark".  Some would say it was the musical episode of Scrubs. Others would say it was when Desperate Housewives opened their season with a 5 year jump after the last season had ended. From this point on whenever anyone asks me the definition of jumping the shark, I will answer with one word: Fairy.
       There are many people asking Why, today. Why did Alan Ball do this? Why did the writers at HBO write this? Why didn't the powers the be at HBO stop this? We will never know the answer. Perhaps the brilliant Mr. Ball has a plan. A plan that will make this all ok. And if he does then I will forgive him but right now, it's still too fresh. I'm still looking to the heavens and scratching my head. I read the True Blood books (ok, just the first one but whatever) so I knew the basis of what was suppose to happen. But I trusted Alan Ball to take the series and honestly do it better justice then the author of the books did. For a while it seemed that Ball was on the right track. He saved Lafayette from death (that was suppose to be him in the back of that car) and he ignored Vampire Elvis (Oh yes, Elvis was alive and well and had a appetite for house cats) Alan Ball is still my hero for leaving that out. So last week when Sookie awakes from her coma in a fairy version of Bon Temps Cemetery surrounded by tutu clad hippies, I did one of those epic moments of horrible realization where I actually went out loud, "No....no....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY? (insert dramatic sob) WHY!?!" By the time Sunday rolled around I had progressed to the anger stage of my acceptance.  This week when Bill tells Sookie of her true identity (Shes a FAIRY!!!) I simply had a small hallucination where I saw the Fonz, Allen Ball along with Sookie and Bill all jump over a man eating shark while doing one of those human triangle things on water skis. It was quite dramatic, the Fonz waved to me and Alan Ball flipped me off.

   Let me level with you, I'm an un-employed 27 year old chick with an affinity for vampires and junk TV. I will watch just about anything. I might be totally wrong and in the minority on this entire idea and perhaps True Blood has built up such a following that it can withstand the current stupidity it's undergoing but I stand by what I said and when asked I will say it again. And if I ever meet Alan Ball I will tell him the same. Last night was the night True Blood jumped the shark and as far as shark jumping goes it was one hell of a jump.

Baby Vamp Jessica gets a Blog

And she has no idea what to do with it. But it's funny and it feeds the TB fix until the season 3 premier which airs on Sunday at 9 PM!!! Until then check out Jessica's Blog. 

Blood and sex and more blood...

According to www.broadcastingcable.com this past Sundays episode of True Blood, (You know, the one were something super natural happens and then Bill/Sookie gets hurt and sucks the others blood to recuperate while Jason does something stupid and Lafayette makes a drug reference) was viewed by 5.3 million viewers.

Please to not get me wrong, I love True Blood. I mean, its not Buffy but its funny and bloody and I really love the Hoyt/Jessica relationship. I really hope those two crazy kids can work it out. But I am having issues with this season. It started with the open orgy in the field out of no where and the weirdness of greek mythology intertwining with red necks. I'm hopeing Ball can stay on the ball with this series but how is season three not going to be a giant let down? Or are they gonna pull a Weeds and completely kill the town and up root the main characters and start over. FYI, that did not work in Weeds and it certanly will not work with Vampires.

You stole my crappy idea for a book!

Stephenie Meyer is apparently being sued by a women who claims that Meyer stole concepts from her work. Jordan Scott says that parts of "Breaking Dawn" are stolen right out of her book titled, " The Nocturne." So basically Meyer stole someone else's shitty idea for a book and tried to pass it off as her own. I think we could all learn a valuable lesson from all this: Vampires do not glitter. And if you say they do people will sue you and ruin your life for attempting to bedazzle blood sucking night stalking immortals.

Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer are going to ruin my life!

Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer are engaged. This is the WORST IDEA EVER. Although I see major issues in issuing a full on threat to the happy couple I will say this: If these two marry and then divorce and bring about the premature end of True Blood I will throw the worst hissy fit in the history of the world. I will make hate shirts a whole web site and a twitter account soley for the purpose of denouncing this entire union. You should not shit where you lie, you should not dip your pen in the company ink, it ruins everything! Having said that I wish Anna and Stephen all the best.